Posts in "life-lessons"

The Smartest Things Ever Said About “Doing it Yourself”

Only those who have patience to do simple things perfectly will acquire the skills to do difficult things easily. -Friedrick Schiller

The rules are simple. Take your work, but never yourself, seriously.  Pour in the love and whatever skill you have, and it will come out. – Chuck Jones

If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams – Les Brown

To solve any problem, here are three questions to ask yourself; First, what could I do? Second, what could I read? And third, who could I ask? – Jim Rohn

Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient -Aristotle

Betrayal

There maybe few things worse in life than the feeling of betrayal.  Its paralyzing.  Whether it is a cheating wife or husband, deal-breaking business partner or just a shady friend, the feeling is the same.  Its a whirlwind of emotions and not one of them are good.  Its a nauseating feeling no matter who you are and its surrounded by shaking, sadness, anger, and worst of all hurt.  How could that person you trusted turn on you and completely abandon everything built up in the relationship with such carelessness?  Without thought of how it affects anyone else other than themselves. 

Sadly, in my experience most of the time the betrayal is poorly a thought through irrational act because if the person truly considers the whole impact of their actions I find it hard to believe anyone could want to make someone else feel as bad as being betrayed makes you feel. 

I really have no point of this post other than to rant a little bit but maybe after reading this someone will think twice about how their actions are going to impact others and handle their situation more maturely. 

You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do

Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that “wrong” decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our “poor” decisions by labeling ourselves incompetent decision-makers. However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence-what makes you a unique entity-exists independently of your decision-making process.

There are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence yet they are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on our ability to trust ourselves and our self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a “bad decision” was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently. Try to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to under! stand why you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward.

A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply human.