Posts in "movies"

The Hangover Movie Quotes

Probably the best movie I’ve seen in a long time, its hilarious. Here are some of the best quotes that i can remember or have gotten TXT’d to me by my ridiculous friends….

Sid : “Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit’ll come back with you.”

Stu: “Am I missing a tooth?”

Phil: “Whose baby is that?”
Alan: “Check its collar or something.”

Stu: “We’re not going to leave a baby in the room. There’s a fucking tiger in the bathroom.”

Stu: “She is wearing my grandmother’s Holocaust ring.”
Alan: “I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”

Tracy: “We’re getting married in five hours.”
Phil: “Yeah … that’s not gonna happen.”

Stu: “Why can’t we remember a godd*** thing from last night?”
Phil: “Because we obviously had a great f***ing time.”

Stu: “Everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he’s kind of a sweetheart.”
Alan: “I think he’s mean.”

Dr. Valsh: “It’s on the corner of ‘get a map’ and ‘fuck off.'”

Alan: “Next week’s no good for me. The Jonas Brothers are in town.”

Alan: “Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.”

Alan: Rainman took over a casino and he was a ra Tard

Doctor: Rufees. Commonly known as the date rape drug.
Alan: What…what are you saying I was ..raped last night?
Doctor: Actually, …I don’t think so.

Alan: “counting cards isn’t illegal, it’s just frowned upon.. like masturbating on an airplane” Ever since 9/11 they’ve been so skeptical. Thanks alot bin laden

Doug is probably dead, face down in a ditch and getting butt f***ed by a meth addict

Male Officer to Alan: “Not you, fat Jesus.”

Allen: I’m sure you get this a lot, but is this really Ceasar’s Palace?
Hotel Clerk: What do you mean?
Allen: Did Ceasar really live here?
Hotel Clerk: No
Allen: Didn’t think so

Phil: Paging Dr. Faggot

Mr. Chow: tootaloo motha f***asssss

Alan: I shouldn’t be here. I’m not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school. Or a Chuckie Cheese.

Alan: How’s my hair? Does it look like phils?

Alan: “we should call them rapies”

Just a pack of wolves roaming in the desert looking for strippers and cocaine.

Phil: Put on some pants. I find it weird that I have to ask you twice.

Phil: What’s the baby’s name?
Alan:Carlos
Phil:I thought he looked like a Carlos too

Alan: Carlos, not at the Table!

After the chinese guy jumps out of the trunk, attacks them and runs away..
Stu: “Who was that?!”
Phil: “Why was he so MEAN?!!”

stu: but he didn’t cum in her. she hates semen.

Alan: Does this place have good beeper reception?

Allen: “I don’t think I could handle losing someone close again…It was so hard on me losing my grandfather”
Phil: “oh really? when did he die?”
Allen: “World War II

Alan: Are you guys ready to let the dogs out?

Stu’s Wife: I just wish your friends were a mature as you.
Stu: They are, they just don’t understand some things.
Phil: Dr. Faggot, paging Dr. Faggot.
Stu’s Wife: I think you should go now, Dr. Faggot.

Stu: You can’t leave a baby in the car, it’s too hot.
Phil: It’ll be okay, I cracked a window

Doug: She told me that we probably shouldn’t let him gamble or drink too much. (in reference to alan)
Phil: What is he a f***ing gremlin? Does he come with instructions?

Asian bodyguard to Phil: “You kept calling him you’re lucky charm” (talking about Mr. Chow)

Alan: Hey watch it pervert!
Doug: Alan calm down hes just trying to fit you.
Alan: He got really close to my shaft.

alan: i would love to be able to breastfeed.

Phil: he is not a real doctor, if someone has a heart attack you should still call 9-1-1

Post Christmas Movie Day

Everyone knows it hard to get back to work after a nice holiday break, even for us work at home people. So yesterday I worked from the couch and watched a few movies in the process. Two of them were so good I had to share, hoping that others may have seen them too.

I Am Legend
– The Will Smith thriller in theaters now is a mix of Castaway and Night of the Living Dead. It is one of the most stressful movies I have watched in a long time because you are constantly on the edge of your seat waiting for something to happen. You know its coming, its just a matter of when! If you haven’t seen it, i recommend it highly. On a side note, if I was alone in NYC, I would probably do exactly what Will Smith does. Find the fastest Mustang and floor it all around town, all the time. I’d also hit golf balls of the wing of a stealth bomber but thats another story. Must See.

3:10 to Yuma – 3:10 to Yuma is probably the best movie you havent heard of. This Russell Crowe flick is a wester / psychological thriller and is one of the best movies I’ve seen this year. Its hard to describe what movies it is like but the movie is about a small-time rancher (Bale) who agrees to hold a captured outlaw (Crowe) who’s awaiting a train to go to prison in Yuma. A battle of wills ensues as the outlaw tries to psych out the rancher. Move this one to the front of your NetFlix queue ASAP.

The Big Bounce – It was not the best movie I’ve seen but it was entertaining. Owen Wilson teams up with Morgan Freeman, Sara Foster, Charlie Sheen and Gary Sinise in a movie about a small time con man who is being used for a big con by another group of con men. Nothing great but for some reason I busted out laughing when Owen Wilson smacks the guy with a tree branch. Worth a watch.

The Simpsons Movie – You have to be a Simpsons fan to enjoy this movie and since I’m a mild Simpsons fan, I mildly enjoyed the movie. Your call

Others I’ve watched recently…
I think I love my Wife – In this comedy, Chris Rock wrestles with his conscience b/t his currently stale marriage and a hot young thing who comes back into his life. The first 40 minutes of this movie are typical Chris Rock funny but after that, he attempts to turn into a real actor and that never turns out well for any comedian. It just got kind of dull. Skippable

Rush Hour 3 – If you enjoy this random but dynamic combo of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 1 and 2, you should definitely see #3. It may have been the funniest of the entire Rush Hour series. add it to your Netflix queue

American Pie Presents Beta House – Lets face it, after the first American Pie, the rest have sucked badly. This one is no exception. A horrible movie except for the fact there were more boobs than Brandow‘s nightly trip to Pure Gold. Even if you like boobs as much as I do, you’ll be saving an hour and 20 minutes of your life by skipping this one.

Next on my list are: The Kingdom, Gone Baby Gone, Lions for Lambs, Shoot’em Up, and War.

Has anyone else seen anything good?

Movie Review: The Good Shepard

I went to see the Good Shepard last night but I am still kind of confused. I need someone who is a little bit less easily confused than me to go see it, because the person I went with was more clueless than I when we left.

It is a story about the beginnings of the CIA and its intelligence operations but there really wasn’t as much 007 spy type stuff as I suspected, I guess a setting in the 1940s will do that. It was a good movie but really long (3 hrs) and drawn out. There really weren’t any highs and lows it was all just constant confusion to me.

For those who have seen it answer these questions for me:

1. Was the German deaf translator chic, the same one in the picture with Ulyceses?

2. Was the Senator the leak in Cuba?

3. Is his son in the CIA?

4. Is Matt Damon now an “asset” for the KGB?

5. How hot is Angelina Jolie?

Finally, My Greatness is Recognized in Film

It was only a matter of time before Hollywood finally recognized the greatness that is Me, Evan. Coming in early 2007 I present to you Evan Almighty. In a follow up to the quite hilarious Bruce Almighty, Steve Carell (the Office), takes over Jim Carey’s role as God’s (Morgan Freeman) mentor. But don’t be dissappointed because I have already been called to do some consulting out in Hollywood. Steve Carell wanted to capture the essence that is the Evan Almighty so he called me and we covered all the neccessary topics: blogging, golfin’, sweet talkin the panties off of the ladies, and I even taught him how to shoot the 3 with excellence.

Its sure to be a blockbuster, don’t miss it.

Rocky VI Trailer

A few of us went and saw Pirates of the Carribbean 2 last night, and maybe the best part about the movie was the preview for Rocky 6 :Rocky Balboa! I was looking foward to the transformer preview that was no where to be found, but Rocky VI trailer was a pleasant surprise.

watch it here

Movie: Da Vinci Code Movie Trailer Online

Even though I maybe the only person who fell asleep reading the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, I couldn’t even make it through the audiobook, I am looking forward to seeing the movie.

The much anticipated movie based off Dan Brown’s best seller is directed by Ron Howard and is set to come out this summer.

Check out the trailers
QuickTime low resolution trailer

QuickTime medium resolution trailer

QuickTime high resolution trailer

QuickTime Full Screen trailer